Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
