he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
