I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
