Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
