it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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