I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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