drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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