Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
