Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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