Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
