For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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