I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
