After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
