what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
