my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
