I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
