just tell him i said nine months
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
