but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
