I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
