So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
