my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
