His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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