I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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