just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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