he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
