she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
