I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I look better un-naked...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
