We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I will be naked everywhere
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
