guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
