I cockslap morals
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
