things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
