i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
