i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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