Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
