I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
