OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
