think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
