I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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