Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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