Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
