just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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