PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
