Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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