if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
