You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
