i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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