craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I FOUND THE LEGS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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