Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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