see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
