I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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