you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
