we have pet lesbian snakes
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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